Thursday, January 27, 2005

Thinking about the next generation...

Okay, anybody out there? Not yet, eh? Well all right, that’s okay ‘cuz that’ll give me that much more of a chance to get things ‘round here spit shined and polished up real good before the peeps start flocking over here in droves to see what the “F” is goin’ on round these parts.

What’s been goin’ on round these parts you ask? Well lemme tell ya’…

First off, it is unbelievable to me that it has been six whole years since my little girl – Miss H. – came to join us all on this big ol’ crazy spinning orb in the universe we so lovingly refer to as Earth (still our only home…). But ‘tis true enough, and she couldn’t be any more important to my life. I’m sure most parents say this at one point or another, but becoming the caregiver to a little child changes the focus and scope of ones life and views like nothing else. I’ll never forget that day back in ’99, exhausted from having been up all night trying – in vain, I’m sure*– to assist the lovely Ms. K with the grueling delivery, cradling Miss H’s preciousness close to my heart, tears of joy glistening on my face.
Since that moment was etched in my mind, my time here on this planet has been quantitatively different in an infinite amount of ways both grand and subtle. Mostly for the better though there has been much negativity mixed in as well, let me assure you. And although it seems like yesterday that I first held that amazing little being in my arms, wondering to myself what exactly I had gotten myself into this time, I am blown away daily with all that has changed. For instance, how can I even begin to describe the emotion that washed over me last night when Miss H. announced at bed time that tonight she would be reading us a story, and then listening to her do it - struggling to sound out the words along the way, but doing it none the less. Truly amazing.
I cannot wait to see what lies around the next bend in the trail. I find nothing more fascinating than watching as my little girl develops – absorbs the wonders of the world around her – and becomes the person she was meant to be. I am so thankful that I am able to experience this gift of having even a small hand in shaping a child into a being of the future. My only worry is what will that future be like (given the direction our current society seems to be headed) and how can I help to make some changes for the common good during my time here, so that she will not have to struggle so much (as I have), when I am gone…
Possibly this is an unanswerable question, but you know me, I just have to ask.

*(Is there anytime that a man feels more useless or redundant, than in the delivery room, trying to figure out what to do while his lover writhes and suffers and sweats and makes the most astounding noises whilst laboring to get that damn baby out once and for all?)

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